Much Ado About Nothing – I beg thee, cease thy training

Much Ado About Nothing


Leonato is extremely depressed because he thinks his daughter, Hero, has died (even though she hasn’t and it is all part of an elaborate plan to get everyone to like her again after a previous elaborate plan made her lose face). Leonato refuses advice from someone who doesn’t suffer the same pain he does. It is easy to give someone advice when you are not suffering the way they are, but suffering yourself, you can’t follow that same advice.

I pray thee, cease thy counsel,
Which falls into mine ears as profitless
As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel,
Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
Bring me a father that so loved his child,
Whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine,
And bid him speak of patience.
Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine,
And let it answer every strain for strain,
As thus for thus and such a grief for such,
In every lineament, branch, shape, and form.
If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
Bid sorrow wag, cry “hem” when he should groan,
Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
With candle-wasters, bring him yet to me
And I of him will gather patience.
But there is no such man. For, brother, men
Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
Which they themselves not feel, but, tasting it,
Their counsel turns to passion which before
Would give preceptial med’cine to rage,
Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
Charm ache with air, and agony with words.


Leo is an adopted dog with a rough past. His Owners are trying their best to train him, but are having difficulty. Other dogs are easy to train, but with Leo impatience takes over because his past makes him unruly.


I beg thee, cease thy training,
Which falls into mine ears as profitless
As meats in a freezer. Give me not training,
Nor let no other dog play with mine food
But such a one whose past does suit with mine.
Bring me a stray pup that fought for his food,
Whose bed of straw was overwhelmed like mine,
Bid him quiet and patient.
Measure his fear the length and breadth of mine,
And let it tremble every shake for shake,
As thus for thus and downward tail for such,
In every standing back hair, eye, snout, and paw.
If such a dog will sit and wait and stay,
Bid his tail wag, “unh-unh” when he should whine,
Patch fear with “it’s ok,” follow loud noise
With chicken-rewards, bring him yet to me
And I of him will leashed be patient.
But there is no such dog. For, Owner, men
Can train dogs and speak comfort to their fear
When their dogs do not scare, but, sniffing it,
The training turns to impatience which past
Would give multiple treats for commands,
Address strong pulling with a full head turn,
Praise come with “yes!”, and always end with fetch.